Build In Time To Stop & Relax
I often hear my clients say Come on, how on earth will I be able to make time for myself when I have so much to do? and I always reply, if you dont look after yourself you wont have the reserves to take care of all the other people in your life you take care of. When our reserves are low were cranky, overly sensitive and generally not as happy as we want to be. So please take some time each day, even if it only 10 minutes, to relax.
- Have a warm bath as this will help your body reach a temperature thats ideal for rest.
- Writing to do lists for the next day can organize your thoughts and clear your mind of any worrying thoughts that pop in to your head
- Relaxation exercises, such as light yoga stretches, help to relax the muscles. Dont exercise vigorously though, as it will have the opposite effect.
- Relaxation CDs can help as they use a hypnotic voice to guide you through muscle relaxation and soothing music and sound effects to relax your brain.
- Watching TV or any computer or phone screen keeps the brain engaged and active so it is harder to fall asleep. It is better to read a book or listen to the radio as that relaxes the mind by distracting it from the present worries.
Could I Have Generalized Anxiety Disorder
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I feel like I worry a lot more than most other people do
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Once my worry starts, I have a hard time stopping it
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I worry even when everything is okayfor example, I worry about getting sick even though my doctor says I’m healthy
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My body shows signs of worry: my heart races, my palms get sweaty or my muscles feel tense
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I feel restless or fidgety I find it hard to sit still
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I’m irritable and get upset easily
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I have trouble sleeping I feel tired all the time
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It’s very hard for me to concentrate or make decisionseven minor decisions
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I have a lot of fearful thoughts about the future
If you have some of these symptoms and they last for a long time, talk to a doctor or mental health professional.
Critical Stop Stressing Tactic: Look For Glass Is Half Full Opportunities
A while back, my wife had a lot of pain in a few of her teeth.
We went to the dentist, and she ended up having to go through a series of painful root canals and other operations.
At first glance, this was miserable .
But on the flip side, there was a big glass-is-half-full opportunity.
My wife has been struggling with a severe anxiety of being around people. Due to her anxiety, she hadnt been out in public much for a few years, including the dentist.
As painful and awful as it was, the pain in her teeth forced her to go into the dentist multiple times.
Which has helped reduce some of her anxiety over being in public places. .
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How Do You Let Go Of Something You Cant Change
There are many things in life we cant change. For example, if a potentially good party got ruined due to the weather, you cant change that. However, you may find yourself worrying about the next party.
Everyone thinks about what they cant change, but there are times where it gets toxic. You may try to force other people to change and scare them away. You may handle the worst case scenario of something you cant change by always thinking about it, while ignoring the better cases.
Heres how you can gain enough control of your mind to stop worrying about what you cant change.
- Think about what you can change and what you cant. Find ways to increase your thoughts about what you can change. For instance, lets go back to the party. Maybe you cant change the weather, but you may be able to build a roof to prevent a storm from ruining a party.
- Think about what you can change and then model and set healthy goals to bring about change. Even if you dont succeed, theres a good chance youre stronger for trying to make the change.
- If youre still unable to let go of what you cant change, think of quick little phrases to get that out of your head. For example, when youre ruminating, Change the channel is a good phrase to help you move away from what you cant control.
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Calming Things To Do When Stressed

Stress is an inevitable part of life for some people.
Even the most zen among us will be pushing to the breaking point at one time or another, searching for things to do when stressed over bills, work, school, or the little things that take up space in your brain even though theyre not that important .
Sometimes, when were stressed, we end up being pretty bad humans and snapping at people we love , losing control of our emotions, and generally not contributing to the human race in a positive way.
This can also happen when when trying hard to stay positive in a bad situation.
When youre not able to change your situation, ie move from a big city to an island in the middle of nowhere, you have to find calming things to do when youre stressed to keep putting one foot in front of the other and not turning into a stress monster.
Enjoy this full list of things to do when youre stressed, and remember that you make time in life for whats important to you.
This self-love workbook is a fantastic way of relaxing and boosting those happy hormones to get you through the stress.
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Where Do I Go From Here
In addition to talking to your family doctor, check out the resources below for more information about generalized anxiety disorder:
AnxietyBCVisit www.anxietybc.com or call 604-525-7566 for information, tools, and community resources on anxiety.
BC Partners for Mental Health and Addictions InformationVisit www.heretohelp.bc.ca for the Anxiety Disorders Toolkit, more info sheets and personal stories about anxiety disorders. The Toolkit is full of information, tips and self-tests to help you understand generalized anxiety disorder.
Resources available in many languages:*For each service below, if English is not your first language, say the name of your preferred language in English to be connected to an interpreter. More than 100 languages are available.
HealthLink BCCall 811 or visit www.healthlinkbc.ca to access free, non-emergency health information for anyone in your family, including mental health information. Through 811, you can also speak to a registered nurse about symptoms youre worried about, or talk with a pharmacist about medication questions.
About the author
The Canadian Mental Health Association promotes the mental health of all and supports the resilience and recovery of people experiencing a mental illness through public education, community-based research, advocacy, and direct services. Visit www.cmha.bc.ca.
Schedule Some Worry Time
It may seem counterintuitive to actually give your worries attention, but research has found that scheduling time to worry can help reduce anxious thoughts and improve sleep.
To get started, determine a time of day that you can put aside 20 minutes to do nothing but worry. Some people prefer to carve out worry time in the morning, freeing themselves of worry early in the day. Others prefer to schedule their worrying for the evening, clearing their minds of all the worries that built up throughout the course of the day.
Regardless of the time of day you choose, the point is to spend some time focusing on your worrisome thoughts. Worries will still come up at times outside of your scheduled worry time. When they do, briefly acknowledge them, but only give them your full attention during your scheduled worry time.
Additionally, by only concentrating on your worries for a set amount of time, you may determine that they are not as urgent as you once thought. This can free up your mind to focus on more productive thoughts.
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Critical Stop Stressing Tactic: Savor The Victories
When you accomplish something, dont move on too quickly to the next decision.
Spend some time in that moment to reflect on how proud you are of what you did, even if its just a small victory.
If you are constantly moving on to the next challenge without giving yourself time to reflect first, then you are much more likely to get stressed out.
And then when things come along that you cant control, you are not going to be in as strong a position to deal with them.
Not only that, you also are going to be less likely to be successful, because you wont be positively reinforcing your successes.
The Negative Effects Of Rumination
Rumination starts innocently: Its your minds attempt to make sense and move on from a frustrating situation. However, rumination can catch you in a circular, self-perpetuating loop of frustration and stress. When youre dealing with chronic conflicts in your relationships, you may experience chronic stress from too much rumination.
Its important to find ways of catching rumination before you get caught up in it and working on handling conflicts in a healthy way.
Rumination can be oddly irresistible and can steal your attention before you even realize that youre obsessing again. In addition to dividing your attention, rumination has several negative effects.
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Worrying Too Much Can Affect Your Daily Life
Worry begets worry, so its easy to start worrying about one or two bad things, only to end up worrying about even more areas of your life.
When anxious thoughts become part of your everyday life, your stress can show up at work, with your family, in your finances, and even in your hobbies. In addition, feelings of stress are becoming more and more common in adults over the past few years. Learning how to stop worrying is more crucial than ever to maintain good mental health.
Over time, too much worry can impact your emotional resilience and make completing necessary tasks harder. Learning how to stop worrying can bring relief and happiness to your life. This can quickly reverse the effects of excessive stress and anxiety.
Stop Worrying By Focusing On What Youre Grateful For
As we focus on one negative thought, it primes our brain to look for more. By contrast, looking for a silver lining can help train your brain to search for positives and interrupt the cycle of worry. This is one reason why a daily gratitude practice can be so helpful and even life-changing.
Having trouble finding something to be grateful for? Take a step back and look for what is interesting about the situation or funny. Engage your mind through curiosity and humor. This can quickly shift you into a better place and provide a needed break from the negative thoughts. You can even try to be curious about the way you worry.
While it may take practice, learning to turn your negative thoughts around can be a great way to stop worrying.
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Recognising Your Stress Triggers
If you’re not sure what’s causing your stress, keep a diary and make a note of stressful episodes for two-to-four weeks. Then review it to spot the triggers.
Things you might want to write down include:
- the date, time and place of a stressful episode
- what you were doing
- a stress rating
You can use the diary to:
- work out what triggers your stress
- work out how you operate under pressure
- develop better coping mechanisms
Doctors sometimes recommend keeping a stress diary to help them diagnose stress.
Dont Sweat The Small Stuff

Youve probably heard this expression before, but when youre an over-thinker, you should really take it to heart.
There are things in life youre going to be able to control, and things you cant. Recognize the things you cant control and accept them for what they are.
That means youre going to have to let some things go. Itll take time and practice, but the more aware you are of the things you cant control, the easier it will eventually become to stop fretting about them so much.
There will always be bigger, more important things ahead, so dont let the things that dont really matter paralyze you with worry.
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The Benefits Of Focused Meditation
In this style of meditation, what youre really doing is exercising your mental muscles. Your brain is highly affected by dedicated and concentrated meditation practice.
Scientists have performed countless studies on focused meditation and have found that active meditators have more gray matter volume in their brain and, therefore, offsetting the cognitive decline that comes with aging. So, not only does practicing focused meditation help you learn how to focus better on certain tasks, but it also improves similar functions, such as memory.
Likewise, it helps in reducing symptoms of depression and anxiety, which our society is currently crippled with. By settling your attention on an object, you are essentially building your ability to observe your thoughts and sensations from a place of objectivity. This allows you to detach from negative self-talk that is often the breeding ground for depression and other mental illnesses.
From a guided meditation for focus to practicing it yourself, daily meditation for focus comes with several benefits:
- Itll reduce stress
- Helps you to focus on the present moment
- Increase your creativity and imagination
- And boost your patience and tolerance for things.
Don’t Ignore Your Stress
People often don’t address their stress in a proactive way until they feel overwhelmed by it, and often then, they tend to be reactive rather than proactive, which doesn’t always lead to the best decision-making. Stress management is an ongoing process, not a one-time act.
It is important to have an overall stress management plan that includes not only cutting out stressors and managing stress that you feel, but actually remaining aware of the stress you are experiencing, and not letting your stress levels get too high.
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How To Stop Stressing About Being Perfect The Thing That Is Really Hard And Really Amazing Is Giving Up On Being Perfect And Beginning The Work Of Becoming Yourself ~anna Quindlen I Finally Learned I Wasnt Superman It Was A Hard Concept For Me To Grasp You See I Was Always The Good Child The One That Did Everything Without Complaint Or Supervision I Was The One Who Didnt Need Help In School Who Knew How To Plan Who Did The Chores Without Having To Be Asked Twice As I Grew Older This Idea That I Was The Good Child/person Grew My Grades Had To Be Perfect My Work Had To Be Perfect I Had To Interact Perfectly With Everyone I Met Needless To Say This Drive To Perfection Caused Me A Lot Of Stress Stress To The Point That I Was Literally Pulling My Hair Out I Know You See That On Cartoons And Things But It Happened To Me For Real I Didnt Even Know I Was Doing It Until One Day I Looked In The Mirror After My Shower And Saw A Bald Spot I Had Combed Over It For So Long Without Even Consciously Realizing It Was There I Knew I Had To Do Something After That I Had To Change Something I Wanted To Just Give Up After All If I Couldnt Be Prefect Then What Was The Point Of It All I Cycled Into Depression But Even This Depression Did Not Lessen My Drive To Be Perfect I Made It Look Like I Was Doing Fine I Went To Work Every Day Did My Home Things And Even Interacted On A Superficial Level With Those Around Me After A While Of This Hollow Existence I Started To Become Angry Why Did No One See I Was Hurting Why Was There No Reaction To This Change I Slowly Ground To A Screeching Sputtering Stop As Circumstances In My Life Piled Up: The Death Of A Family Member The Illness Of Another My Car Getting Totaled My Job On The Edge Boom Boom Boom One Right After Another Nothing Was Perfect Now And I Could Not See Any Way To Make It Perfect It Was Hopeless All Of It So At Last I Gave Up On Being Perfect At First It Seemed Strange To Me Leaving Things Unfinished Doing Things Halfway Not Going Out Of My Way To Make Everything Seem Okay I Thought The World Would Fall Apart But It Didnt Other People Took Up The Slack Things That I Thought Were Vital Went Undone Without Consequence Not Working At 110 Percent Did Not Make The World Come Crashing Down Around My Head Hesitantly I Started To Look Around I Started Doing Things That Were Fun For Me Instead Of Things That Needed To Be Done I Said No When People Asked For Help I Left Dishes In The Sink And Trash In The Can I Ate Out Instead Of Cooking I Ate What I Wanted And Not What I Thought Was Right I Watched Tv When I Wanted And Slept When I Wanted And Didnt Worry About What I Should Be Doing Instead And You Know What It Was Okay Shockingly There Was Little Difference In My Life Between Working Hard And Enjoying It Little Difference To Others However It Was A Big Difference To My Mental Health I Discovered I Could Do More With Less Less Work Less Stress Less Perfection I Could Enjoy Life Without Being Perfect I Am Not Saying That My Change Did Not Cause Conflict My Family Was Not Pleased With The Sudden Upsurge In Their Workload Those Little Things I Always Did Were Now Undone If They Wanted It Done They Had To Do It Themselves The Little Things They Took For Granted Suddenly Became Scarce And My Ever Helpful And Always Consistent Presence Became Something That Had To Be Requested Rather Than Relied Upon It Was Empowering To Say No To Be Out Of Touch To Be Enjoying Myself Without Guilt Or Stress I Found Out That I Could Now Enjoy And Even Look Forward To Things That Had Previously Stressed Me Out That Every Experience Was Not A Chance To Screw Up But A Chance To Learn Something New That Doing New Things Was Good Even If I Wasnt Good At Them At First Its Great To Strive Toward Excellence But Its Not Worth Stressing About Perfection If Youd Like To Take A Page From My Book And Learn To Enjoy Being Imperfect:
1. Accept that perfection is unreachable.
No one can possibly be perfect that is what makes us human. However, you have to not only accept that you will not be perfect, but also be happy that being imperfect makes you different than everyone else. Being perfect would make everyone identical. Our imperfections are what make us unique and special in this world.
2. Say no.
When you are trying to be perfect, its hard to tell people no. You want to make them perfectly happy. You want to be the perfect spouse, sibling, or friend. However, taking on more and more things does not make you more perfect or even a better person. It only makes you more stressed.
Saying no is not only good for your mental health, but it is good for others as well. Many times people will have to deal with their own issues, which will make them grow into stronger human beings. If you had helped them, they would not have had the chance to grow.
3. Try new things, even if you fail.
Being a perfectionist, its hard to get the guts up to try something you have never done before in the fear that you will be less than perfect at it. However, thats the fun of trying something new! You get to learn and grow and become more than what you were before. Staying stagnant is not healthy for anyone. Embrace your mistakes and learn something new.
4. Let some things go.
5. Prioritize what makes you happy.