How A Former Abortion Doctor Became Pro
As an abortion doctor at Planned Parenthood, Dr. Patti Giebink believed she was helping women. Later, she began reading scripture and God gradually changed her heart on the abortion issue. Patti tells the story of her long journey from abortion doctor to pro-life and encourages listeners to share the message of life with compassion.
Practice Active Listening When They Need To Vent
If your partner just needs to vent what they feel in order to release tension, give them the space to do so. That means, put all distractions away, and give them your undivided attention. “Your role now is to be there to listen to them,” Celia Schweyer, dating and relationship expert at DatingScout, tells Bustle. “Make them feel like they have a shoulder to cry on and be present. Most of the time, that’s better than talking them out of stress.” Unless they ask for advice, don’t feel the need to give it. Sometimes people really do just need someone to validate their feelings and listen.
How Does Stress Affect Relationships
A better question might be How does stress not affect relationships? Research shows that stress spills over into our relationships, causing a wide range of problems. When people are under a lot of stress, they become distracted, withdrawn and less affectionate. Leisure activities are relegated to the back burner, which creates alienation from social groups, including ones partner. When were under stress, it brings out our worst traits. Were depleted of cognitive resources, which makes us hyper-vigilant and oversensitive to criticism. Since were more irritable, were more likely to fight over issues wed normally drop and if relationship stress was already a problem, it will increase tenfold when external stressors are added to the equation.
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Praying The Scriptures Over Your Children
You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to Gods provisionand frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.
Supporting A Spouse Through A Health Challenge
Every year, millions of couples come face to face with a serious illness. A new diagnosis whether its Alzheimers disease, cancer, heart failure, kidney dysfunction or another major medical condition is life-changing for both of you. Yet research reveals that the needs of the well spouse are often overlooked, just when he or she needs the strength to support a partner in new ways.
If you have suddenly been put into the role of caregiver, what should you do and how can you stay strong while you do it? Psychiatrist Susan Lehmann, director of the geriatric psychiatry clinic at The Johns Hopkins Hospital, recommends these strategies.
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How Does Stress Affect A Womans Health
In addition to the health symptoms that are brought on by stress, these additional health problems can develop in women exposed to stress over long periods of time.
- Depression and anxiety. Women have higher rates of these conditions and other psychological disorders including panic disorder and obsessive compulsive disorder than men.
- Heart problems. Stress increases blood pressure and heart rate.
- Headaches and migraines. Tension headaches are more common in women than men.
- Obesity. Women are more prone to stress-related weight gain than men.
- Bowel problems. Stress can lead to such bowel problems as irritable bowel syndrome.
- Pregnancy issues. Women with higher stress levels have a more difficult time becoming pregnant than women with lower stress levels.
- Menstrual problems. Premenstrual syndrome is more severe with increasing stress levels.
Quick Stress Relief On The Go
In traffic. Play music or listen to an audiobook. Take a different route to see something new. Do neck-rolls at stoplights. Sing in the car to stay awake and happy.
Public transportation. Take a break from reading, cell conversations, and music to tune into the sights and sounds around you. Try noticing something new, even if youre on the same old bus ride.
Running errands. Wear a special perfume or lotion so you can enjoy it while you rush from place to place. Carry a stress ball in your pocket. Take a mental snapshot or postcard at each destination.
Waiting in lines. Instead of worrying about time slipping away, focus on your breathing. People watch. Chat with the person ahead of you. Chew a stick of minty gum.
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I Humbly Admit To You Today That I Am Not Very Good At Helping My Husband Through Stress
In fact, I know I add more stress to him because when he is stressed I take it personally. I feel as if he is ignoring me, as if he is not interested in me, as if he does not love me. In my hurt I retaliate. This doesnt happen every time, but often enough that The Lord has convicted my heart of the issue in our marriage. My eyes are self-focused in those moments.
The heart wrenching part is that I know what my husband needs in times of stress:
- He needs a wife who will affirm him with words of affirmation.
- He needs a wife who be selfless and serve his needs.
- He needs a wife who will be confident of his love for her despite his weary heart and the other demanding circumstances that steal his attention.
- He needs a wife who will rub the tension out of his shoulders.
- He needs a wife who understands the burden of stress and does what she can to not add to the stress.
- He needs a wife who will be gracious to him when he acts out as a result of his stress.
- He needs a wife who will cheer him on and cheer him up!
Listen Without Judgement And Validate Their Feelings
When we are stressed, we are often not even seeking advice, rather the need for our feelings to be heard.
Validate their concerns and listen without problem solving, offers Dr. Rachel ONeill Ph.D., a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor from Ohio. Although it can be tempting to launch into fix it mode, sometimes individuals just want a place to vent their stress.
Besides being a good listener, its important that we not dictate the correct way for our partners to respond to stress, but rather recognize that we are all different.
Dont try to fix things for them or control how they respond to the stress, explains Christine Tolman, a Licensed Professional Counselor from Idaho. Allow them to feel safe with you be a port in the storm.
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Tips For Dealing With Relationship Stress
Its easy to let financial stress broil, parenting pressures mount, or fall into old argument patterns especially if the two of you are locked together in close quarters.
Making time to go outside your house will help break you out of patterns and allow both of you to feel like youve escaped the usual.
Things To Do To Help Your Marriage Feel Less Stressed
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference. Serenity Prayer, attributed to Reinhold Niebuhr
Stress is at the root of many health issues in America. Heart disease, depression, and hypertension are just a few of the many stress-related maladies. Physical health isnt the only casualty of a stressful lifestyle. In marriages, stress is a leading cause of interpersonal tension and dysfunctional relationships.
There is good news. A lot of the stress in marriage is avoidable when both parties are aware of stressful triggers. Here are 10 things to do for reducing stress in your marriage:
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What Causes Some Of The Stress Seen In Women
There are many causes of stress. Men and women share many of the same sources of stress, such as money matters, job security, health, and relationship issues. Perhaps a little more unique to women are the many roles they take on. In todays society, womens roles often include family obligations, caregiving for children and/or elderly parent and work responsibilities as well as other roles. As demands increase to fulfill these roles, women can feel overwhelmed with time pressures and unmet obligations. They may feel a sense of failure in not being able to meet expectations for themselves and others. Oftentimes women spend more time meeting the needs of others rather than nurturing their own needs. If functioning at high stress levels, women may not even recognize what their needs are.
Do A Few Small Things Each Day To Make Your Partners Life Easier
There are many ways to express concern or care for your partner. However, sometimes your partner may not want to directly discuss what is troubling them. But that doesnt mean you cant do little things to show that you are aware of their feelings, and that you want to help lessen the stress.
Expressing care and concern in a variety of ways can have a powerful impact, says Jill E. Daino, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker from New York. A favorite meal or activity at the end of a hard day can help someone feel cared for, she suggests.
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Ask For Help Or Ask How You Can Help
One of the hardest things to do when youre stressed out is to ask for help.
Sometimes you may feel too overwhelmed to ask for help, or be in such a high-stress situation that you dont even know what kind of help you need. If youve ever felt this way, your partner has definitely felt it, too.
Thats why the best thing you can do is take a breath and ask them what kind of help they need. For example, a pile of dirty dishes may not normally be a big deal to your partner, but if they feel stretched to the limit already, that pile of dishes is going to look impossibly large.
You can respond to your partners stress by simply asking them about it and how you can support them. We are more likely to miss the mark when we assume, Hardy says. I would recommend taking something off their plate When you give them less to worry about in other areas, you are supporting them inadvertently.
Tip : Find Sensory Inspiration
Having trouble identifying sensory techniques that work for you? Look for inspiration around you, from your sights as you go about your day to memories from your past.
Memories. Think back to what you did as a child to calm down. If you had a blanket or stuffed toy, you might benefit from tactile stimulation. Try tying a textured scarf around your neck before an appointment or keeping a piece of soft suede in your pocket.
Watch others. Observing how others deal with stress can give you valuable insight. Baseball players often pop gum before going up to bat. Singers often chat up the crowd before performing. Ask people you know how they stay focused under pressure.
Parents. Think back to what your parents did to blow off steam. Did your mother feel more relaxed after a long walk? Did your father work in the yard after a hard day?
The power of imagination. Once drawing upon your sensory toolbox becomes habit, try simply imagining vivid sensations when stress strikes. The memory of your babys face will have the same calming or energizing effects on your brain as seeing her photo. When you can recall a strong sensation, youll never be without a quick stress relief tool.
Take a break from technology
Taking a short hiatus from the television, computer, and cell phone will give you insight on what your senses respond to best.
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Are You Stressed Or Is It Your Partner
You and/or your partner may be suffering from stress from external sources. Ultimately, you are each responsible for your own recovery.
If you blame your partner, other people or the situation, you can get trapped in feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. This is unhealthy as you end up wasting precious energy on things you have no control over, instead of focusing on the things you can control.
Putting The Kids To Bed
In our family, Mom stays home with the kids throughout the day as we homeschool our children. That means that by the time bedtime rolls around, shes been with the kids all day long. So the nightly bedtime routine is a precious time for me to close out their day every day by giving them one last hug, reassuring them of my love, and tucking them in tight. And its one less thing my wife has to worry about.
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Raising A Strong Daughter In A Toxic Culture: 11 Steps To Keep Her Happy Healthy And Safe
Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young womenand what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughterwhether shes a toddler or a troubled teento achieve her full human potential.
How Introverts And Extroverts Deal Differently With Stress
An introvert is more likely to be soothed by peace and quiet, and solitary activities.
An extrovert is more likely to cope by engaging in lively activities.
You are each on a continuum between introvert and extrovert. Try to work towards a balance to avoid the risk of becoming polarised as that will certainly increase relationship stress.
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When You Causes Trouble Try To Use I Instead
It may seem like a simple word choice, but using you and superlative statements too often in an argument can lead to longer fights and more stress for your partner if you arent careful.
Using I language is often better received than you language, which comes off as accusatory and can lead to defensiveness, explains Jennifer Henry, licensed professional counselor and director of the Counseling Center at Maryville University in Missouri.
For example I feel really disappointed and unimportant when Im planning on a date night and you end up canceling it taps into the way the situation makes you feel versus Every time we make plans for a date you end up bailing at the last minute,’ Henry says.
Giving Up Sugar Tasting God’s Goodness
As a latchkey kid, Wendy Speake turned to sugar for comfort. Every Friday, she would pedal to the candy show and use her allowance to fill her bag with candy. And one day, when she was older and a mom of three young boys, she came to realize that she was still pedaling away from her stress and using sugar as comfort, instead of turning to Jesus. She was joyless, worn out, tired, and in need of a change. In this interview, Wendy will challenge Christians to take 40 days to focus on fasting from something they turn to instead of Jesus for comfort. She invited people to break free from a dependence on sugar and taste the goodness of God.
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How To Start Calming Things Down
When you get to the point where you just dont want to go home at the end of a working day, or you dread your partner coming through the door, your relationship just wont be satisfying any more.
If there are problems in your relationship or marriage, now is the time to sort them out. Continuing to do what youve always done is not going to change anything. Im afraid wishful thinking will only lead to further relationship stress.
Id really advise you to consider getting professional help from an experienced couple counsellor if this is your situation. Even if your partner doesnt want to go, you still can and at the very least you wont feel so alone any more. It can be hugely helpful to discuss, in confidence, what is happening with an expert.
You can connect with an online, professional licensed therapist right now.
Theres also much you can do right now that can make a difference. Firstly well look at things that you can do, and then well look at ways that you can support your partner.
Ways You Can Help Your Partner Cope With Stress
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Make Their Life Easier In Some Way
Chances are, the last thing your partner wants to do after a stressful day at work is to take care of a bunch of household chores. So if you’re not busy, you may want to try taking over their share of responsibilities. For instance, you can take care of dinner or do the dishes. If they need to drop something off somewhere, maybe you can volunteer to do it for them instead. “Let them know that while you canât take away the stress, youâre happy to help make things a little easier,” Baxo says.
