Know Your Triggers And Signs
We all have certain things that make us angry, and also telltale signs that we are starting to lose our temper.
Learning to recognise both can make it easier to stop before you lose your temper.
The signs of anger are often easier to recognise. For example, people often say that their heartbeat increases when they are angry, because anger is linked to the adrenaline response. You may also find that your breathing speeds up, for the same reason. You may tense your musclespeople often clench their fists when they are angry. Some people need to move around, pacing the flooragain, an adrenaline response.
Triggers are often very personal, but there are a number of general themes that can help you to identify them. For example:
- Negative thought patterns are often associated with angry outbursts. Beware if you start over-generalising , or jumping to conclusions about what people are thinking .
- People or places that you find stressful may also make it harder to control your emotions. If your anger is a mask for other emotions, it may therefore be likely to emerge. Being aware of what makes you stressed can help you to avoid those situations, or ask for help to manage them better. See our pages on Stress and Stress Management for more.
How You Can Use Humour As A Tool
Humour is a very useful tool when it comes to relationships of any kind, from the gleeful giggles of a first date to the well-rehearsed running jokes of a long term friendship and even the comparative awkwardness of client meetings and discussions with tellers at the bank.
Socially, we use humor for many reasons, including masking our true feelings, attracting potential mates, building trust, hiding pain and communicating difficult information to others.
However, humor can backfire on you and when it does, look out! Weve all been at a family gathering, meeting or, uh, place of worship, where an ill-considered joke has just bombed. It is, to say the least, not much fun. You definitely want to avoid this in a professional setting, so here are a few tips.
Unhelpful Ways To Deal With Anger
Many people express their anger in inappropriate and harmful ways, including:
- anger explosions some people have very little control over their anger and tend to explode in rages. Raging anger may lead to physical abuse or violence. A person who doesnt control their temper can isolate themselves from family and friends. Some people who fly into rages have low self-esteem, and use their anger as a way to manipulate others and feel powerful. For more information, see What is violence against women? on the White Ribbon Australia website
- anger repression some people consider that anger is an inappropriate or bad emotion and choose to suppress it. However, bottled anger often turns into depression and anxiety. Some people vent their bottled anger at innocent parties, such as children or pets.;
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Tip : Recognize If You Need Professional Help
If, despite putting these previous anger management techniques into practice, your anger is still spiraling out of control, or if youre getting into trouble with the law or hurting others, you need more help.
Anger management classes allow you to meet others coping with the same struggles and learn tips and techniques for managing your anger.
Therapy, either group or individual, can be a great way to explore the reasons behind your anger and identify triggers. Therapy can also provide a safe place to practice new skills for expressing anger.
Anger isnt the real problem in an abusive relationship
Despite what many believe, domestic violence and abuse does not happen due to the abusers loss of control over their temper. Rather, its a deliberate choice to control another person. If you are abusive towards your spouse or partner, know that you need specialized treatment, not regular anger management classes.
Get more help
Controlling Anger Before it Controls You; Origins of excessive anger, tips on coping, and when to seek more help.
Simple Anger Management Ideas
Step 1: identify your anger The first step to managing your anger is to notice the early signs. Its really important to know and say that youre angry, even if its just to yourself. For example, This is making me angry or I can feel myself getting angry here.
Step 2: try to calm down Once you notice the early signs of anger, you can do a few things to start calming down.
Here are some ways to calm yourself in the moment, especially if you cant step away your child:
- Try to slow your breathing. Breathe in for two seconds and breathe out for four seconds. Do this a few times until your heart rate slows down.
- If your child is being very loud, try blocking your ears or putting on noise-cancelling headphones for a moment. Then take a few deep, slow breaths.
If you can take time away from your child, here are some ideas to try:
- Do something that soothes you, like listening to some music, flicking through a magazine or just looking out the window.
- Go outside for a run or walk.
- Take a warm shower.
- Talk to a friend about how youre feeling.
Make sure your child is in a safe place before taking time away. You might be able to ask someone to watch your child while you go somewhere quiet for a few minutes.
Signs that youre calming down include your heart rate slowing down and your muscles relaxing.
- How important is this? Why was I so upset about it?
- How do I want to sort out this situation?
- Do I need to do something about this, or can I just let it go?
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Listen To Soothing Music
Listening to music can have a very relaxing effect on the body.
Slow-paced instrumental music can induce the relaxation response by helping lower blood pressure and heart rate as well as stress hormones.
Some types of classical, Celtic, Native American and Indian music can be particularly soothing, but simply listening to the music you enjoy is effective too .
Nature sounds can also be very calming. This is why theyre often incorporated into relaxation and meditation music.
Managing Anger And Depression
Its not uncommon for men to also struggle with issues around managing anger when theyre fighting depression. Here are some tips to help.
“Sadness isnt the only symptom of depression – anger and irritability can also be signals that something more serious is going on.”
While feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and guilt are typical symptoms of depression, there are other signs as well. ;Its not uncommon for men to also struggle with anger and irritability when theyre fighting depression.
Anger and irritability can show up in a lot of different ways. ;For example, a guy may become overly sensitive to criticism, highly critical of himself or others, lose his sense of humour, experience frequent road rage, have a short temper, be controlling, or be verbally or physically abusive toward others.
Because these symptoms arent typically associated with depression, men may not realize that depression could be the underlying cause.
Here are some tips on how to manage issues with anger and depression.
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How Do I Manage An Angry Child Or Teenager
When your child becomes angry you are likely to feel distressed and rejected.
Try to set your feelings aside and to focus on them, your child, caught up in an emotion they can’t handle well. They need your help.
- Respond to the anger, not the child or teenager. Be clear when you react, that it is your child’s behaviour, not your child, that you don’t like. This may seem obvious to you but it may not be obvious to them.
- Stay calm. Keep your body language relaxed. Don’t shout.
- Acknowledge the anger: ‘I can see you’re really angry.’
- Consider using time out to give them a chance to calm down and then discuss things.
- Don’t lecture.
- Don’t patronise or tell them they’re too young to know anything.
- Be ready to listen, and tell them they can say anything they need to say.
- Having given them that permission, don’t take it personally.
- Verbal or physical abuse or violence from your child can be very difficult:
- If you can do so safely, remove yourself from the room.
- If not, and you feel that you or anyone else are at immediate risk of harm, warn the child that if the aggression does not stop you will need to ask the police to come and help you keep everyone safe. Whilst this is a very tough thing to do, it may be needed to keep everyone safe.
How Can Anger Affect Me
When we get angry, it can be hard to think things through especially if that anger seems overwhelming or uncontrollable. And if we feel angry a lot of the time in other words, if we get into constant patterns of thinking angry thoughts about ourselves or others its hard to take a step back and communicate in a healthy and productive way.
We may tense up and clench our teeth. Our hearts might pump faster, our stomachs might churn, and we may clench our fists. These are useful early warning signs that we are getting wound up.
Sometimes, it can be difficult to recognise just how much anger you are feeling, and how it is affecting you. This might be because you have lots of things going on in your life.;
After getting angry about something you might start to feel guilty about it, and this can make you feel worse.;
Here are things I don when i feel myself getting angry1. putting on my favourite music really helps2 Doing an action that helps me feel something different, like walking my dog
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Know The Difference Between Anger And Aggression
Anger is a feeling, an emotional reaction to particular stimuli, whereas aggression is a course of action brought about by that feeling.
Being angry once in a while is a normal and unavoidable part of the human condition. Aggression, on the other hand, is a decision.
Although aggression can take many forms, it is most often a conscious course of action taken as a result of anger. The most extreme form of;reactive aggression;is violence.
So if a person insults you, the;feeling of anger;that arises from it is more or less automatic, but the decision to retaliate in some way is an act of aggression, get it?
This is where the term anger management comes into play, because if you know how to adequately deal with your feelings of anger, then you are far less likely to respond aggressively to people or situations that make you angry.
Your feelings of anger are most likely normal and probably reasonable enough, but this does not necessarily validate a decision to react aggressively towards others.
Tip : Learn Ways To Cool Down Quickly
Once you know how to recognize the warning signs that your temper is rising and anticipate your triggers, you can act quickly to deal with your anger before it spins out of control. There are many techniques that can help you cool down and keep your anger in check.
Focus on the physical sensations of anger. While it may seem counterintuitive, tuning into the way your body feels when youre angry often lessens the emotional intensity of your anger.
Take some deep breaths. Deep, slow breathing helps counteract rising tension. The key is to breathe deeply from the abdomen, getting as much fresh air as possible into your lungs.
Get moving. A brisk walk around the block is a great idea. Physical activity releases pent-up energy so you can approach the situation with a cooler head.
Use your senses. You can use sight, smell, hearing, touch, and taste to quickly relieve stress and cool down. You might try listening to a favorite piece of music, looking at a treasured photo, savoring a cup of tea, or stroking a pet.
Stretch or massage areas of tension. Roll your shoulders if you are tensing them, for example, or gently massage your neck and scalp.
Slowly count to ten. Focus on the counting to let your rational mind catch up with your feelings. If you still feel out of control by the time you reach ten, start counting again.
Give yourself a reality check
When you start getting upset about something, take a moment to think about the situation. Ask yourself:
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Anger Management Techniques For Stressful Occupations
Remaining calm: its the hardest part of the job.
Whether its a drunken student biting off more than he can chew, or a genuine threat to your safety, security staff are regularly placed in precarious situations that would challenge almost anybody to stay in control.
Thats why these 17 tips are so important. May they help you in your career, as well as your day-to-day life.
Why Won’t My Anger Go Away
If someone deliberately treats you unfairly it is normal to feel angry. Often this kind of anger dissipates quickly, and you calm down.
Sometimes, however, the trigger for your anger isn’t something that just happened, but something more general in your life or circumstances, or a past experience which is still causing you distress. When this is the case, you may seem to become suddenly angry about very small things, but the real cause of your anger is something deeper, and ‘slow-burning’.
This kind of lasting anger can be difficult to deal with alone. It usually means you have not been able to resolve or come to terms with the cause of your anger. That might be because you have been treated unjustly, and it may seem that there is nothing that you can do to fix this. When this is the case it makes sense to get help. Counselling and talking therapies can help you understand your anger and the causes of your anger.
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Controlling Anger From Anxiety
When anxiety results in anger, it can be very frustrating. It’s not necessarily something that can simply be controlled and reduced right away. It often takes a great deal of time and effort, as well as a commitment to ensure that you’re able to control this symptom. You’ll have to work on two separate issues:
- Managing Your Anger
- Managing Your Anxiety
Even though anger is the result of your anxiety, you’ll still want to learn how to handle situations where anxiety is present. Some amount of stress and anxiety is natural, but if its getting in the way of your life it may be something to address.
Clues That Theres More To Your Anger Than Meets The Eye
You have a hard time compromising. Is it hard for you to understand other peoples points of view, and even harder to concede a point? If you grew up in a family where anger was out of control, you may remember how the angry person got their way by being the loudest and most demanding. Compromising might bring up scary feelings of failure and vulnerability.
You view different opinions as a personal challenge. Do you believe that your way is always right and get angry when others disagree? If you have a strong need to be in control or a fragile ego, you may interpret other perspectives as a challenge to your authority, rather than simply a different way of looking at things.
You have trouble expressing emotions other than anger. Do you pride yourself on being tough and in control? Do you feel that emotions like fear, guilt, or shame dont apply to you? Everyone has those emotions so you may be using anger as a cover for them. If you are uncomfortable with different emotions, disconnected, or stuck on an angry one-note response to situations, its important to get back in touch with your feelings. HelpGuides free;Emotional Intelligence Toolkit can help.
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Speech : Using Anger Management For Stress Relief
Good evening ladies and gentleman,
First of all, Id like to extend my sincere gratitude to our honorable lecturer, Ms.Dwi, for giving me the opportunity in this great day to deliver a speech with the title Using Anger Management for Stress Relief.
The first point Im going to make concerns about why we supposed to know about anger management and its goal. Have you ever been in anger? Let me begin by nothing that its natural to get angry sometimes, and doing so can healthy, too. We all experience anger. Manage in healthy way, anger can be a positive thing.
Ladies and gentleman, research with children and adolescents shows that anger management is important for the younger sets as well. Findings showed that youth who cope inappropriately with their anger are at greater risk; for problem-ridden interpersonal relationships. Their health is also at risk; those who cope poorly with anger tend to have more negative outcomes when it comes to both mental and general health. The goal of anger management are to eliminate unnecessary anger, and to express necessary anger in healthy ways.
Let me now turn the second section, there are five anger management tips which can help us with the dual goals of anger management, enabling us to enjoy healthier relationships and less stress in our life.
- Eliminate some of our anger triggers
- Develop effective communication skills
- Take care of ourself
- Keep some stress relievers handy
- Get support if wed need it
Focus On Trying To Find Solutions
Anger means that something needs to be resolved. Instead of focusing on what is upsetting, or what is wrong, focus on solutions. If you need to talk about the causes of the problems you can do that later, when nobody is angry.
Suggest that you are both angry and need to talk when you are calm. Take time out. Suggest a cup of tea and talking in ten minutes’ time. Going for a walk can help disperse energy and make things less tense.
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