You Try To Manage Your Stress Instead Of Your Stressors
The biggest myth we all believe about chronic stress is that you need to get better at stress management.
But stress management is actually a terrible solution to the problem of chronics stress because youre already stressed! Its like putting a Band-Aid on a gunshot wound.
Of course, some form of Band-Aid to stop the bleeding is important if you happen to get shot. But Band-Aids should not be the primary strategy we talk about for dealing with gunshot woundswe should work like hell to avoid getting shot in the first place!
See, when we make stress management our first-line strategy, we distract ourselves from really looking at the true cause of our stress, the stressor itself.
A stressor is the thing that causes a stress response.
If youre always stressed, the real solution is to fix the original cause of the stress not the feeling of stress itself.
For example, if youre constantly stressed at work, you could try and work on doing more deep breathing exercises throughout your day. And maybe your stress level will decrease a little. But no amount of deep breathing exercises will change the fact that youre still terrible at saying no to taking on too much work.
Feeling stressed at work is the messenger trying to tell you that something about how you work is deeply wrong. Over-reliance on stress management techniques is effectively shooting the messenger.
The far more important part of the equation is the stressors that are causing the stress in the first place.
Habits Of People Who Are Never Stressed
1: They set up efficient daily routines
Daily routines are not only helpful for keeping your days productive and organized but they are also essential to spending your day not stressing.
If you know what your morning routine and night time routines look like you are more likely to feel confident that you wont forget things and that everything will get done. Which leads to less worrying and stressing.
Also, if you have your life in order and positive routines set up then you stay in a better mental state all day!
Here is some ideas for setting up a positive morning routine and some for setting up your perfect night time routine!
2: They arent afraid to ask for help
People that are never stressed out are largely never stressed because they know to ask for help.
If you are unwilling to ask your support system for help when you have too much on your plate then YES you will be stressed out.
A lot of us dont like to show when we are stressed but ultimately it is better for both you and those around you for you to ask for help before you completely burn out.
3: They have a healthy hobby/outlet
People who arent stressed have an important habit in common- they regularly participate in their hobby or outlet.
If all you do is work and family/household things then you dont have a healthy outlet that brings you joy and stress-free time.
So start making your healthy outlets and hobbies more of a priority if you want to live a less stressful life.
4: They limit their caffeine intake
How To Reduce Stress
This article was co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin specializing in Addictions and Mental Health. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.There are 21 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.wikiHow marks an article as reader-approved once it receives enough positive feedback. This article received 15 testimonials and 87% of readers who voted found it helpful, earning it our reader-approved status. This article has been viewed 688,509 times.
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Create Obstacles And Rewards
If you tend to pick up your phone when youre supposed to be working, turn off your phone and put it somewhere out of sight before you get started with the day.
Make sure to reward yourself for your efforts, too. After you get a good chunk of work done, take a break to watch a funny video, catch up with your friends, or swap selfies with your partner.
Thinking in terms of rewards rather than punishments can help you encourage yourself, too.
- Instead of: If I dont work out tonight, I cant watch the next episode of Lucifer.’
- Try: Ill go for a jog after work, and then Ill watch an episode of Lucifer before bed.
If youre a long-time procrastinator, breaking the habit may require a little extra support.
Connecting with a therapist may be a good next step when procrastination:
- affects your performance at school or work
- creates problems in your personal relationships
- leads to feelings of stress, anxiety, or depression, or makes existing symptoms worse
A therapist can help you identify and explore possible emotional triggers. They can also provide more insight into any underlying mental health concerns contributing to procrastination.
In therapy, you can also learn strategies to challenge negative self-talk and reframe unhelpful thought patterns.
Other Types Of Relaxation Techniques

Many de-stressing therapies have common goals. They aim to help you pay attention to your body and focus on aspects of your breathing or other exercises that will lower your blood pressure and increase feelings of well-being. You can try:
- Biofeedback, which measures body functions and helps you learn to control them.
- Self-hypnosis, in which a practitioner teaches you to relax when you hear a phrase or get a nonspoken cue.
- Massage therapy, which can include Swedish, sports, Shiatsu, or other types of massage.
- Music therapy, when a therapist uses music to accomplish health goals.
- Art therapy, which uses art to enhance your physical, emotional, and mental well-being.
- Aromatherapy, or using essential oils as a type of treatment.
- Hydrotherapy, which can include soaking, compresses, or even steam baths.
While relaxation practices are mostly safe for heathy people, there have been reports of negative impacts, such as increased stress, bad thoughts, or a fear of losing control. Talk to your doctor about what practice might be best for you, depending on the relaxation technique you want to try and your health.
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Your Tummy Does Weird Things On The Regs #awkward
Maybe it’s gas or stomach aches or too much/not enough bathroom time that’s got you down it doesn’t matter, because it’s THE. WORST. And it’s all stuff that could be caused by sneaky feelings of pressure or worry or dread, says le research. “We have brain cells scattered in every organ system,” explains Ehrman. “And for some people, their nervous energy goes straight to their gut.” In fact, some experts even call your gut a “mini-brain” because it holds so many neurotransmitters. They’re still figuring out exactly how stress hormones wreak their havoc, but they DO know that there’s a definite link.
Stop Worrying By Practicing Deep Breathing
When we worry, we often focus on bad things that might happen in the future. Staying in the current moment can help relieve worries and negative thinking plus reduce physical symptoms.
You may experience shortness of breath or chest pain when you start to worry. Practicing deep breathing can redirect your attention from your worries and help you become grounded in the present.
Whether youre having trouble sleeping or you feel a panic attack coming on, deep breathing is a quick and easy way to stop worrying.
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Sometimes It’s Like You Forget To Breathe
You’re sitting there in class and you get a mediocre test grade. All of a sudden you’re convinced that you’ll never get into college and that your future is over. Your emotions can spiral out so fast that you actually feel light-headed, or slightly tingly, or straight-up shaky. So what’s up with that? Sometimes when you’re all worked up you literally hold your breath to keep the tears down and/or the emotion in. And it’s not something you should ignore. “Research has shown that there is no such thing as a spontaneous panic attack,” says Ehrman. “Holding your breath, rapid breathing, a little dizziness these can and will get worse over time.”
See A Relationship For What It Is
Lets talk about what a relationship is and isnt. Well start with what it isnt. A relationship isnt a measure of your worth or worthiness in this world. It is not there to serve you and give you things like happiness and self-esteem. It is not there to make you feel good about life and about yourself. This isnt to say a relationship cant do these things, its just that these arent the elements upon which a healthy relationship is built. A relationship also isnt some sort of milestone, a sign that you have made it, that you will be OK, that you are now a member of some elite club. It isnt something you work to acquire. It is not a goal to achieve.
A relationship is an experience to be had and shared. It is about discovering how compatible you are with someone else, and if there is enough chemistry and compatibility to form a lifelong partnership, also known as marriage. The only work you have to do is to make sure you are your best self and get to a place where you can give and receive love. No amount of plotting or analyzing will change whether you and someone else are compatible. You either are or you arent. The dating process is more of a discovery process to find out if its there.
If you can realize this, really realize it, then there will be absolutely nothing to stress over.
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Tip : Bring Your Senses To The Rescue
To use your senses to quickly relieve stress, you first need to identify the sensory experiences that work best for you. This can require some experimentation. As you employ different senses, note how quickly your stress levels drop. And be as precise as possible. What is the specific kind of sound or type of movement that affects you the most? For example, if youre a music lover, listen to many different artists and types of music until you find the song that instantly lifts and relaxes you.
Explore a variety of sensory experiences so that no matter where you are, youll always have a tool to relieve stress.
The examples listed below are intended to be a jumping-off point. Let your imagination run free and come up with additional things to try. When you find the right sensory technique, youll know it!
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How To Manage Stress And Soothe Your Nervous System
Fortunately, there are many ways to prevent stress from pushing you over that proverbial edge and jangling your nervous system. While its important to focus on the basics of good health getting seven to nine hours of sleep a night, sticking to a healthy, Mediterranean-style diet , and getting about 150 minutes of cardiovascular exercise every week, Gupta recommends using any technique that feels natural and enjoyable, and makes sense in your life.
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Foam Roll Out The Tension
Sometimes stress becomes physical: It can cause your muscles to knot up. These knots can develop in very specific places that build up over time, which you cant easily unwind via exercise or self-massage. Thats where foam rolling steps in.
Foam rolling adds pressure to those trigger points, signaling your body to increase blood flow to that area and for your muscle to relax. A full-body routine can help promote relaxation the way getting a massage will. Try eight moves here.
What Are The Signs Of Stress

We all deal with stress differently, but stress does affectall of us emotionally and physically. Here are a few signs:
Physical |
nails / picking skin |
Some people who experience severe stress can sometimes havesuicidal feelings. In fact, The Mental Health Foundation found 32%of adults said they had experienced suicidal feelings as a result of stress.
There are ways to help you deal with it!
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Squeeze A Stress Reliever Ball
Squeezing a stress relief ball is one of the simplest ideas for how not to be stressed because they also relieve tension and anxiety. It may seem contradictory, but the stress of squeezing a stress ball can actually relieve mental stress. You can carry a stress reliever ball with you in your car, backpack, or gym bag and fidget with it when you get stressed. Some of the top benefits of squeezing stress reliever balls:
- Improve concentration and creativity
- Lower blood pressure
Managing Stress In Daily Life
Stress is not an illness itself, but it can cause serious illness if it isn’t addressed. It’s important to recognise the symptoms of stress early. Recognising the signs and symptoms of stress will help you figure out ways of coping and save you from adopting unhealthy coping methods, such as drinking or smoking.
There is little you can do to prevent stress, but there are many things you can do to manage stress more effectively, such as learning how to relax, taking regular exercise and adopting good time-management techniques.
Studies have found that mindfulness courses, where participants are taught simple meditations across a series of weeks, can also help to reduce stress and improve mood.
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How Can We Handle Stress In Healthy Ways
Stress serves an important purpose it enables us to respond quickly to threats and avoid danger. But lengthy exposure to stress may lead to mental health difficulties like anxiety and depression, or increased physical health problems.
A large body of research suggests that increased stress levels interfere with your ability to deal with physical illness, says Dr. Borland. While no one can avoid all stress, you can work to handle it in healthy ways that increase your potential to recover.
1. Eat and drink to optimize your health
Some people try to reduce stress by drinking alcohol or eating too much. These actions may seem to help in the moment, but actually may add to stress in the long run. Caffeine also can compound the effects of stress. While consuming a healthy, balanced diet can help combat stress.
2. Exercise regularly
In addition to having physical health benefits, exercise has been shown to be a powerful stress reliever. Consider noncompetitive aerobic exercise, strengthening with weights or movement activities like yoga or Tai Chi, and set reasonable goals for yourself. Aerobic exercise has been shown to release endorphins natural substances that help you feel better and maintain a positive attitude.
3. Stop using tobacco and nicotine products
4. Study and practice relaxation techniques
5. Reduce triggers of stress
6. Examine your values and live by them
7. Assert yourself
8. Set realistic goals and expectations
9. Sell yourself to yourself
Am I Worrying Too Much
If you have the occasional anxious thought, theres likely no need to be concerned about your emotional well-being or mental fitness. However, chronic worrying can be a symptom of something more serious, like an anxiety disorder. This type of worry can lead to physical symptoms like muscle tension, insomnia or poor sleep hygiene, stomach pain, back pain, and panic attacks.
Are anxiety and chronic stress starting to interfere with your daily life, work, or relationships? If so, its time to get serious about learning how to stop chronic worrying.
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Stop Worrying By Keeping A Daily Emotions Journal
Chronic stress and anxiety happen when we dont notice the first signs of worry and let it grow over time. Want to learn how to stop worrying? Checking in with yourself regularly is an important way to maintain your mental health and manage your anxiety.
By the time were in a worry cycle, we often feel disconnected from our emotions. Keeping a daily journal can help you track patterns and actively manage stress before your feelings spiral out of control.
As you practice journaling your emotions and sharing your thoughts, it becomes easier to identify when youre starting to worry. Stopping worry early will ultimately help you feel better and stay focused on what matters most to you.
Stop Leaning On Frenemies
Relationships can be fantastic sources of stress relief. When we experience times of stress, the emotional support, the helpful resources, and the stability that friends bring us can be quite a buffer against the challenges we face.
Additionally, many people find themselves looking to relationships the most when under stress. This response, like the more commonly discussed fight-or-flight response, can help us to get our needs met when we are experiencing stress. This response drives us to connect with others and share support.
That said, the stress of a conflicted relationship can take a heavy toll on your health and well-being. Relationships that are sometimes supportive and sometimes unpredictably conflict-riddled can be particularly difficult because there’s an underlying sense of uncertainty and tension.
Because of this, it is very important not only to know when to let go of a toxic relationship but to know how to keep all the relationships in your life as healthy as possible.
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