Stop Leaning On Frenemies
Relationships can be fantastic sources of stress relief. When we experience times of stress, the emotional support, the helpful resources, and the stability that friends bring us can be quite a buffer against the challenges we face.
Additionally, many people find themselves looking to relationships the most when under stress. This response, like the more commonly discussed fight-or-flight response, can help us to get our needs met when we are experiencing stress. This response drives us to connect with others and share support.
That said, the stress of a conflicted relationship can take a heavy toll on your health and well-being. Relationships that are sometimes supportive and sometimes unpredictably conflict-riddled can be particularly difficult because there’s an underlying sense of uncertainty and tension.
Because of this, it is very important not only to know when to let go of a toxic relationship but to know how to keep all the relationships in your life as healthy as possible.
They Work Out Regularly
Exercise has been proven to fight stress-related depression, though we dont know exactly how this works. Researchers from the Karolinska Institutet in Sweden recently found that exercising created changes in skeletal muscle that helped eliminate a stress-induced substance that can harm the brain. The study was done on mice, but the findings may show the connection between exercise and human mental health, as well. So the next time you feel your stress start to snowball, or the clouds of a funk start to descend, hit the gym, go for a bike ride, or take a brisk walk.
How Do I Stop Worrying About Everything
While there are some things you should worry about, worrying about everything, especially what you can’t control, isn’t good for you. Your brains likes to micromanage, refuse to delegate, and stay on thoughts for far too long. A little bit of worrying is good, but you usually let worrying take a minute of your life, and then soon its taking over. Peoples worries keep them occupied in a self-destructive cycle that is hard to break. Here are some ways you can stop worrying.
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Be Consistent With Your Eating Timing
When you have a set time where you eat, your body gets used to it. It will get hungry at around those times. And this is powerful for weight loss. For me, I eat at noon and at 6. My body knows this and it doesnt tend to bother me with hunger outside of my eating time.
I remember when I used to eat immediately when I woke up. My body would get hungry immediately after I woke up. Its because my body knows I feed it when I wake up so it demands that food right away. But when you train your body a different eating pattern that is better for fat loss, it will get used to that too.
So if you can, try and eat twice a day at noon and 6. This is how I do it and I have a lot of success keeping fat off my body and burning fat quickly if I get fat from a vacation or something.
Ask Yourself What You Can Learn
Failure can be a great teacher if youre open to learning. Did you make a mistake? Did you make a whole series of mistakes?
Think about what you could do differently next time. Then, you will ensure your failure has become a life lesson that helped you learn something.
Instead of seeing a failure as a burden weighing you down, look at it as a stepping stone toward your goals.
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Learn The Value Of Saying No
Is it good to be helpful?
Is it good to always be available to anyone who needs assistance? Not exactly.
If you say yes to everything, youll get burned out. Youll lose time, energy, and money to focus on yourself. And worse, people could take advantage of your kindness.
In order to master how to not give a fuck, you must learn how to say no.
You dont have to reject every single request. But you must know when to turn one down.
Perhaps youre afraid to say no for several reasons:
You dont want to hurt the feelings of others, especially those dear to you. You fear that no one will be there when its your time to ask for help. Youre worried youll eventually get a bad reputation.
But these are concerns that you neednt worry about.
Real friends wont take it personally if you cant help them all the time they wont ignore your pleas just because of this.
Dont worry about getting a bad reputation. Like weve said earlier:
Others are too busy worrying about themselves to give many fucks about you.
And you can use this technique to say no more often without offending people: the refusal strategy.
Professor Patrick and Henrik Hagtvedit found that saying I dont instead of I cant allowed people to rid themselves of things they didnt want to do.
While I cant sounds like an excuse that could be up for debate, I dont, implies youve already established rules for yourself.
You become free.
Ways To Stop Stressing About Things You Can’t Control
There’s a brutal truth about life that some people refuse to acceptyou have no control over many of the things that happen to you.
People who resist this truth fall into two categoriescontrol freaks or worry warts. Control freaks believe if they can gain enough control over others, and the situations they find themselves in, they can somehow prevent bad things from happening.
Worry warts, on the other hand, fret about everything from natural disasters to deadly diseases. Its as if they believe thinking hard enough about all the potential worst case scenarios will somehow keep them safe.
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But neither of these strategies can prevent a catastrophe. Instead, worry warts and control freaks put their time and energy into the wrong places. And ultimately, those strategies backfire and create even more stress.
Here are six ways to stop stressing about the things you can’t control:
1. Determine what you can control.
In reality, there are many things in life you have zero control over. You cant force your spouse to change, you cant prevent a storm from happening, and you cant control how other people feel.
Sometimes, all you can control is your effort and your attitude. When you put your energy into the things you can control, you’ll be much more effective.
2. Identify your fears.
Are you predicting a catastrophic outcome? Do you doubt your ability to cope with an undesirable outcome?
3. Concentrate on your influence.
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Clutter In Your Home Or Office
Clutter is a representation of how youre feeling and whats going on in your own life, Lang says. So its no wonder that a messy room or a cluttered office can make us feel stressed.
Lang suggests decluttering one step at a timean approach thats similar to methods for handling procrastination.
Just start with one drawer for 20 to 30 minutes at a time, then take a break, says Lang. Then go back, so you dont feel overwhelmed.
Another reason some people may let clutter take over is because they dont know what to do with the space, Lang says. Visualize what you want the space to look like. That will help motivate you as well.
If youre having trouble letting go of something, Lang suggests asking two questions: Do I love this? and Do I use this?
If you havent used something in about a year, its probably time to get rid of it, she says.
Thinking about money youve already spent is a form of dwelling on the past. Continuously turning your spending habits over in your mind will only cause you more stress in the moment.
You cant unspend the money, Gruver says.
To avoid this stressor, its important to focus on the present and the things that we can control, such as the financial decisions we will make in the future, says Lang.
How A Ridiculously Average Guy Became His Own Life Coach
Im an average guy.
Ive never been one to try and find meaning in religion or spirituality. When I feel directionless, I want practical solutions.
And one thing everyone seems to be raving about these days is life coaching.
Bill Gates, Anthony Robbins, Andre Agassi, Oprah and countless other celebrities go on and on about how much life coaches have helped them achieve great things.
Good on them, you may be thinking. They can certainly afford one!
Well Ive recently discovered a way to receive all the benefits of professional life coaching without the expensive price tag.
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Surround Yourself With Good Things
I am not one for inspiration or mood boards, but that is the same concept as what Im saying. Surround yourself with things that make you feel good.
Whether that is a pet, a soft blanket, or friends that support you, whatever makes you happy should be close by.
If you love a fandom like Star Wars or Harry Potter, pick up trinkets and display them at home. You want to smile at what surrounds you. You dont need to be trendy or cool.
Having things, material or otherwise, that make you happy will naturally make you feel better and refocus your care onto better, more positive outlets.
Understanding Stress Is The Key To Keeping It Under Control
Youre up against a deadline at work. Your kids are fighting as youre trying to finish an assignment. You are stuck in traffic and have dinner in the back seat. On top of all that, your email pingsyoure late to pay your credit card bill. Your heart rate spikes, you start sweating, and your mind begins to race.
If you felt yourself respond to the thought of being in those situations, youre experiencing a reaction to stress. While we all experience stress each day, an unhealthy amount of stress can be dangerous to both our physical and mental health.
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How Much Worrying Is Too Much
Worries, doubts, and anxieties are a normal part of life. Its natural to worry about an unpaid bill, an upcoming job interview, or a first date. But normal worry becomes excessive when its persistent and uncontrollable. You worry every day about what ifs and worst-case scenarios, you cant get anxious thoughts out of your head, and it interferes with your daily life.
Constant worrying, negative thinking, and always expecting the worst can take a toll on your emotional and physical health. It can sap your emotional strength, leave you feeling restless and jumpy, cause insomnia, headaches, stomach problems, and muscle tension, and make it difficult to concentrate at work or school. You may take your negative feelings out on the people closest to you, self-medicate with alcohol or drugs, or try to distract yourself by zoning out in front of screens. Chronic worrying can also be a major symptom of Generalized Anxiety Disorder , a common anxiety disorder that involves tension, nervousness, and a general feeling of unease that colors your whole life.
If youre plagued by exaggerated worry and tension, there are steps you can take to turn off anxious thoughts. Chronic worrying is a mental habit that can be broken. You can train your brain to stay calm and look at life from a more balanced, less fearful perspective.
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Get Into The Right Frame Of Mind
“We can control our responses to circumstances, even when the circumstances themselves are beyond our control,” Scott writes. “In doing so, we can greatly lessen our negative experience of stress.”
It’s all about having a positive attitude. For example, it’s better to avoid the all-or-nothing mindset: Rather than say, “This is the worst day ever,” say, “Today was a bad day,” she advises.
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Five Ways To Never Be Stressed Again
Everybody feels stress and knows it intimately, but very few of us think about what stress actually is.
Stress is a thought. Thats it. No more, no less. If thats true, then we have complete control over stress, because its not something that happens to us but something that happens in us.
The dictionary definition of stress is, bodily or mental tension resulting from factors that tend to alter an existent equilibrium. It is your thoughts out of balance.
The medical definition of stress is, the perception of a real or imagined threat to your body or your ego. It could be a tiger chasing you or your belief that your spouse is mad at you . Whether it is real or imagined, when you perceive something as stressful, it creates the same response in the body.
A cascade of adrenaline, cortisol, and other stress hormones floods your system, raising your heart rate, increasing your blood pressure, making your blood more likely to clot, damaging your brains memory center, increasing belly fat storage, and generally wreaking havoc on your body.
The operative word here about stress is that it is a perception, also known as a thought or point of view. There are objective stressors, to be surewar, death of loved ones, financial troubles, starvation, dental work. But how these affect us determines our bodys stress response. Imagine Woody Allen and James Bond, each with a gun pointed at his headsame external stressor but entirely different responses.
Heres how I make my U-turns :
What Can Prolonged Stress Lead To
Stress is a natural reaction to many situations in life, such as work, family, relationships and money problems.
We mentioned earlier on that a moderate amount of stress can help us perform better in challenging situations,34 but too much or prolonged stress can lead to physical problems. This can include lower immunity levels,35 digestive and intestinal difficulties, e.g. irritable bowel syndrome ,36 or mental health problems such as depression.3 This means it is important to manage your stress and keep it at a healthy level to prevent long-term damage to your body and mind.
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They Monitor Their Caffeine Intake
It might seem like loading up on coffee can help you power through your day, but it also may unknowingly be your cause of stress. “Increased caffeine = increased symptoms of anxiety in the body,” says Martinez. Research from the journal Advances in Psychiatric Treatment shows that caffeine can exacerbate anxiety in people who suffer from the disorder.
Chillax With Some Chocolate
When you need a quick break, break off a square of dark chocolate to boost your brain health and reduce stress Berk L, et al. . Dark chocolate increases acute and chronic EEG power spectral density response of gamma frequency for brain health: enhancement of neuroplasticity, neural synchrony, cognitive processing, learning, memory, recall, and mindfulness meditation. DOI: 10.1096/fasebj.2018.32.1_supplement.878.10 . As an added bonus, dark chocolate is lower in sugar than milk chocolate, but it hits the sweet tooth sweet spot.
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Identify Your Personal Stress Triggers
We all have particular situations or people that make us more stressed. Some of these are easily identifiable and may be avoidable. However, sometimes stress may build up over time, and result from a pattern of incidents or events, rather than a single trigger.
It may therefore be helpful to use a tool like our quiz Whats Stressing You Out? or keep a stress diary for a few weeks to help you identify what makes you stressed.
This will make it easier to take action to address your stress levels.
The Most Common Causes Of Stress
Certain events are natural stressors . As for the rest of lifes stress-inducers, its really all about interpretation, says Gupta. What we see with patients is that some event happens, and based on what the patient has experienced in the past, theyll react with a certain level of stress and discomfort, or be calm.
The causes of stress can also feel more amorphous. You may experience stress when you feel that youve lost your purpose in life or that youre not relating to friends or a spouse. The triggers really vary widely, she says.
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Why Do You Care So Much
This may seem like a dumb question, but bear with me. Caring is not a weakness. Let me just start with that. Caring means you have a good heart.
But, you carry the weaknesses of the world around with you. This weighs you down. It means you lift others and let yourself fall.
Youve learned to care for others. That is a good thing. You dont want to get rid of that. The thing is, if youre here, it means you probably care too much. Why is that? Well, caring too much happens when you lack boundaries.
For instance, you care about your partner. But, when you break up, you still care about them. Its not just that you care that they are healthy, but you care if they are hurting and want to fix their pain even though you dont actually want to be with them. You let your care for others go above and beyond your care for yourself. That is where the trouble lies.
When you let your care for others break boundaries, you are disrespecting yourself. You are putting the happiness and peace of others over your own peace of mind, mental health, and joy. You are caring for careless people, and it is eating away at you. But it is about time that stopped.
Make Time For Fun And Relaxation
It is important to include time for fun and relaxation in your schedule. These are important for helping you to feel good generally, and that in turn reduces stress, and keeps you healthy. Looking forward to doing things that you enjoy, and that give you pleasure, helps when you have to cope with less pleasant aspects of life. Whats more, laughter has huge positive benefits for both mental and physical health.
If you are working hard, and are conscientious, however, it can feel wrong to take time out to relax and have fun.
It is therefore important to remember that you and your health are important. You should not ignore your physical or mental health in favour of more urgent activities.
If you consciously put relaxing or fun activities into your diary, and think of this as a way to keep yourself healthy and able to work, you are likely to feel much more positive. This, in turn, will mean that you feel less guilty, and therefore stressed, about doing it.
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