Give Yourself Some Tough Love
If youre truly ready to stop stressing about money, its time to give yourself some tough love. The decisions you made are the ones that led you here.
Success or fail, its all on you!
No one else is to be blamed for your financial mistakes or choices about money. If you wish you had more money, go out and start making more. Negotiate a raise. Invest in a business coach.
Apply for another job. Offer a new service.
Stop being frustrated about not getting results, and start doing something to get them.
Dont like the path youve chosen? Change it. Tell your boss youre quitting. Tell your spouse youre going to work with a financial advisor.
Only you can take action and change your life!
Stop Worrying By Doing A Body Scan
When youre worrying, its natural to tighten your muscles. Over time, raised shoulders or a tight jaw can cause chronic muscle tension. The more you worry, the more tension you continuously carry in your body. If you feel constant tension, stiffness, or pain in your back and shoulders, its time to focus on how to stop worrying.
In these moments, as you notice yourself feeling worried, take a deep breath and notice where you feel tension. Scanning your body can help you reconnect to the present, feel more grounded, and ultimately worry less.
Start at your toes and give dedicated attention to each part of your body up to your head. When you feel tension, focus on breathing into that discomfort and physically relaxing. Slowly release the tightness in your body, and before you know it, youll have discovered one great method for how to stop worrying instantly.
How Do You Let Go Of Something You Can’t Change
There are many things in life we cant change. For example, if a potentially good party got ruined due to the weather, you cant change that. However, you may find yourself worrying about the next party.
Everyone thinks about what they cant change, but there are times where it gets toxic. You may try to force other people to change and scare them away. You may handle the worst case scenario of something you cant change by always thinking about it, while ignoring the better cases.
Heres how you can gain enough control of your mind to stop worrying about what you cant change.
- Think about what you can change and what you cant. Find ways to increase your thoughts about what you can change. For instance, lets go back to the party. Maybe you cant change the weather, but you may be able to build a roof to prevent a storm from ruining a party.
- Think about what you can change and then model and set healthy goals to bring about change. Even if you dont succeed, theres a good chance youre stronger for trying to make the change.
- If you’re still unable to let go of what you cant change, think of quick little phrases to get that out of your head. For example, when youre ruminating, Change the channel is a good phrase to help you move away from what you cant control.
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How To Stop Caring In Healthy Ways
There are many strategies for learning to stop caring about so many things you can’t control, and as a result, reduce your stress.
Of course, we can influence others. And one of our best opportunities to do so is to ensure that we are being who we want to be. Often, the characteristics that are the most frustrating and offensive to us, are those which we are guilty of ourselves. So it is always a good practice to turn our attention to ourselves as soon as we realize we are annoyed with someone else. Awareness is critical to making changes in ourselves. That about which we are unaware, we cannot control. Stated another way, that about which we are unaware of in ourselves, will control us. Sometimes, just gaining awareness of a tendency in ourselves is all we need to choose to think or act differently.
Change Your Perspective
Another helpful concept is that while it is impossible to simply change our feelings, we do have a much greater capacity to change our thoughts, perspectives, the meaning we attach to specific events, our conclusions, expectations, etc. It may be safe to conclude that much of the disappointment, hurt, offense, sadness, anger, etc. we experience is a result of unmet expectations. So if we can change our expectations, we will be able to dramatically decrease the negative feelings that result from experiencing unmet expectations, right?
Track Your Feelings
Accept That Life Is Uncertain
Try Keeping a Worry Box
Who Does It Affect
Generalized anxiety disorder affects between 5% and 6% of people at some point in their life. GAD often starts sometime between late childhood and early adulthood, though it’s not uncommon for it to begin much later in life. Children may also be diagnosed with GAD. In children, separation anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder can look like GAD, so a mental health professional will carefully look at where the child’s worry is coming from before they make a diagnosis.
There are some groups of people at higher risk of getting the disorder:
WomenWomen are almost twice as likely as men to develop GAD.
Older adultsIts not uncommon for people to develop GAD later in life.
People with another mental illnesses or substance use disorderPeople living with GAD often have another mental illness. Mood illnesses like depression, other anxiety disorders and substance use disorders commonly occur with GAD. People who start to experience GAD when theyre younger may be more likely to be diagnosed with more than one mental illness.
Family membersGAD seems to run in families, so you have a higher risk of developing the illness if a close family member also has GAD.
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Excessive Worry Can Make You Physically Ill
Physical signs can be the first sign that constant worrying is becoming a problem. Headaches, stomach aches, and shortness of breath can indicate that youre experiencing excessive worry.
- Stomach pain, nausea, or other gastrointestinal problems
- Sweating more than usual
- Feeling restless, tense, or paranoid
These symptoms can also serve as a sign to examine how youre feeling. You may need to practice deep breathing and focus on relieving your worry. Ultimately, one of the first steps towards learning how to stop worrying is to identify these physical symptoms.
So How To Stop Worrying
If you notice you’re caught up in a worrying storyline, know that you have the power to break the cycle. When it comes to short-circuiting the anxiety loop that worry puts us in, meditation can be a great ally. With practice, we learn to step away from the thoughts and emotions that entertain worst-case scenarios instead, we develop an awareness that allows us to not only see what our mind is inventing, but to also be less triggered by worry. We are essentially training the mind to be calmer, more at ease, and less reactive.
One such tactic is to acknowledge the presence of such thoughts in the mind, as uncomfortable as that may be. A trick to accomplish this is to think of your worry as a movie playing in your mind. As a viewer, you are there to sit and watch the film â not change the film in any way, even though you might naturally want to rewrite the script or silence the film altogether. Hitting âmuteâ might seem appealing, but it doesnât allow us to see the worry for what it really is: another thought among many, many thoughts.
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Establish A Time Limit
It can be helpful to get support and validation from your friends, but too much discussion of wrongs perpetrated by others can lead to a dynamic in your relationships that’s negative and gossipy and lends more to reinforcing the frustration of the situation than to finding solutions and closure.
If you’re seeking support from friends, you can secretly set yourself a time limit on how many minutes you’ll allow yourself to devote to talking about the problem and your feelings around it, before focusing on a solution. Then brainstorm solutions with your friend, or on your own in a journal.
The Negative Effects Of Rumination
Rumination starts innocently: It’s your mind’s attempt to make sense and move on from a frustrating situation. However, rumination can catch you in a circular, self-perpetuating loop of frustration and stress. When you’re dealing with chronic conflicts in your relationships, you may experience chronic stress from too much rumination.
It’s important to find ways of catching rumination before you get caught up in it and working on handling conflicts in a healthy way.
Rumination can be oddly irresistible and can steal your attention before you even realize that youre obsessing again. In addition to dividing your attention, rumination has several negative effects.
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Optimize The Controllable Elements Of Things Partially Under Your Control
After you have taken care of everything that you have total control over, it is time to turn to what you have partial control over.
For example, lets say you want a promotion.
There are some elements which are under your control. Like:
- The quality of the work you do.
- Your willingness to collaborate with others.
- And how hard you work.
But there are also elements you cant control. Such as:
- Whether your boss likes you.
- Office politics.
- And how much work you are assigned.
The first step is to do an honest assessment of how much is in your control and how much is not.
Then, make sure you are doing everything you can in the aspects which are under your control.
In this case, making sure your work is good, you are a good team member, and you work hard.
It might not always get you the result you are looking for. But it may help reduce your worries a bit knowing that at least you are taking care of your part of the equation.
Realize Youre Doing It
The first step in putting a stop to overthinking about everything is to acknowledge that youre a worrier. Think it sounds easy? Not exactly.
Its hard for us, as human beings, to admit weve got a problem big or small. However, realizing that you overthink things is the only way youll even have a desire to put a stop to it or make a change.
The next time you catch yourself worrying about something, pump the brakes. You dont have to dig into the underlying cause of that worry just yet. Instead, acknowledge the fact that you might be overthinking the subject.
That simple pause and acknowledgment can help you come back to the reality of the situation and make it feel less scary and overwhelming.
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Realize Stressing Gets You Nowhere
First, you need to realize that getting all wound up over the state of your relationship serves no purpose, ever. It causes problems within the relationship, and more importantly, it takes a huge toll on your sense of self and self-esteem. When you care too much, you inevitably become attached to a certain outcome. You invest mental energy in making sure things go a certain way. And if they dont, then you suffer on many levels.
I have been guilty of stressing over past relationships. It was always the same pattern. Things started out fun and light, I got excited about the possibilitiesand then became scared that my imagined future wouldnt come to beand then panic set in. From then on, the relationship was no longer enjoyable. Every interaction and conversation became a test to see exactly where he stood and how he felt.
Anyone who has dated long enough knows exactly what Im talking about. The problem is our minds trick us into believing there is some sort of payoff to this type of thinking. Like it will somehow lead us to a place of confidence and clarity. It wont. It will lead you in the opposite direction, rather, and cause you to feel even more uncertain and insecure.
Stop Worrying By Practicing Deep Breathing
When we worry, we often focus on bad things that might happen in the future. Staying in the current moment can help relieve worries and negative thinking plus reduce physical symptoms.
You may experience shortness of breath or chest pain when you start to worry. Practicing deep breathing can redirect your attention from your worries and help you become grounded in the present.
Whether youre having trouble sleeping or you feel a panic attack coming on, deep breathing is a quick and easy way to stop worrying.
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Tip : Practice Mindfulness
Worrying is usually focused on the futureon what might happen and what youll do about itor on the past, rehashing the things youve said or done. The centuries-old practice of mindfulness can help you break free of your worries by bringing your attention back to the present. This strategy is based on observing your worries and then letting them go, helping you identify where your thinking is causing problems and getting in touch with your emotions.
Acknowledge and observe your worries. Dont try to ignore, fight, or control them like you usually would. Instead, simply observe them as if from an outsiders perspective, without reacting or judging.
Let your worries go. Notice that when you dont try to control the anxious thoughts that pop up, they soon pass, like clouds moving across the sky. Its only when you engage your worries that you get stuck.
Stay focused on the present. Pay attention to the way your body feels, the rhythm of your breathing, your ever-changing emotions, and the thoughts that drift across your mind. If you find yourself getting stuck on a particular thought, bring your attention back to the present moment.
Basic mindfulness meditation
Click here for a free mindful breathing meditation.
Focus On What You Can Control
Remember, letting yourself get absorbed in your problems isn’t going to resolve anything. If you have some control over any part of what’s happening, try to move your focus to what you can do to prevent or resolve the issue.
If you don’t have control over what’s going on, consider coping strategies.
If youâre feeling really stressed and just need to calm down in a hurry, take a short walk or use a few minutes to meditate or pare your focus down to whatâs in front of you. When youâre feeling calmer, think about how your attitude and effort can make a difference now and in the future.
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Spend More Time In The Present To Stop Stressing
More often than not, when people worry about things, they are things from the past that cannot be changed in any way, shape, or form. People often get stuck in the past, playing certain events on repeat. This doesnt only make you anxious and stressed, but wastes the time you could spend focusing on the present.
Theres nothing inherently wrong with reflecting on the past. The problem arises when you get stuck on an issue from the past, trying to change that thing. An example that probably everyone can relate to is sitting in bed, going over a conversation, and thinking about what you could have said.
There is no use in doing that because you cannot go back and say those things you are thinking about now. What you can do Is reflect on that conversation with a different perception. Think about what you can do now or in the future instead of what you could have done.
Try to limit the time you spend thinking about past situations. While some reflection can be good, you should try to focus on whats going on now. Your time is limited, and you should spend it wisely. When you take everything in stride to focus on the present, you will be less overwhelmed and less stressed.
Youre Too Social On Social Media
Sure, socializing with friends is a great way to live happier and longer. But does logging onto social media sites or relying on email to contact your pals count?
Not necessarily, found experts. A dependence on social media sites does not enhance well-being, say psychiatrists, and, in fact, may undermine it. In one study, in which subjects ramped up their social media usage during a 14-day period, researchers found the participants state of happiness decreased quickly as their usage increased. While were not sure exactly why this happens, the University of Michigan researchers believe the computer deters actual physical interaction, which has cognitive and emotional replenishing effects, while triggering damaging social comparisons with friends and acquaintances digital personas.
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Dont Believe Every Thought
Dont believe the lies your own mind tells you.
It seems like a simple enough statement, but its hard to do for people who are chronic worriers or who tend to overthink everything.
The truth is, you have the power to take control of your thoughts. When negative self-talk creeps in, you dont have to believe it. You can acknowledge it and you should. But you have a choice on whether you let it take over. Just because your own mind is telling you to overthink about something, or be fearful about something doesnt mean you have to.
Interesting concept, isnt it? The best part is, you can put this tip into practice every time worry tries to slither its way in and ruin your day.