Know Some Stress Is Good
Parents: Talk to teens about stress. Explain to them that some stress such as working outside your comfort zone is good. School is supposed to push your thinking. But Damour says for many students, school has become a form of chronic stress with no opportunity for recovery. To ease the pressure, students have to take class loads that are manageable and build in recovery time. Dont let your teen overschedule. Damour uses a metaphor of weightlifting.
If you are in the gym all day, every day, you’re going to get injured. If you are working nonstop without any break, you will burn out.
Teens: Know how you like to recover from school. It could be watching an episode of SpongeBob SquarePants after school. It could be taking a nap or playing a video game or taking a walk. Some stress is normal and good and helps you grow.But chronic stress is bad and you will burn out. Dont overschedule your life.
Take A Dog For A Walk
I say take a dog for a walk, because it can be yours or a dog you borrow from a friend, but theres nothing like the constant excitement and unconditional love of a dog that make them great pals when youre stressed.
This fulfills the advice to get out of the house and get some exercise, while also having a bit of a social connection .
Bonus points if you get some doggy cuddles later or go for a splash around in the puddles with them.
It can be one of the best things to do to relax and focus on someone elses needs rather than your own.
Make An Effort To Be Present
As your child transitions back to school, make every effort to be there for them, especially during the first few weeks. One way to do that is to try to be home more during the back-to-school time if that’s possible for you.
Right before school starts and during the first days back, try to make it a point to be available to support your child through this transition. If you work away from home, try to arrange your hours so that you’re able to drop your child off at school as well as be there after school if you can.
Alternatively, if you can’t be there, ask another trusted relative, friend, or caregiver to fill this role for your child. Leaving them an encouraging note in their backpack or calling them before they leave for school can help them feel more secure, too.
You can also plan a special time to do something fun together to celebrate after their first day. Giving them something to look forward to, while also honoring that going back to school is hard for them, can help them feel more at ease.
If you’re a stay-at-home parent, try to focus more on your child and put nonessential items on the back burner when they are home. Spend some time talking to your child about their day, such as what they liked and what they might have questions about.
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Things That Could Be Causing Your Child Stress At School
Many students worry about getting a good grade or simply making time to study if there is more than one upcoming test. Test stress doesnt just affect struggling students, eitherhigh-achievers usually experience a lot of stress about doing well on tests.
When your child is overwhelmed or frustrated by homework, it makes it harder for him or her to complete assignments. This can cause a stressful cycle where homework piles up and your child doesnt have the time or energy to complete it allleading to even more stress.
Whether its advanced-level classes or the amount of studying required, a heavy workload can be a major source of stress for students. This is especially common for older high school students as they start making their post-secondary plans.
Students with poor organizational skills tend to experience more stress in school. This is usually because they arent properly prepared with the tools or the understanding needed to learn. If those organization skills dont improve they may continue to fall behind, leading to more stress and frustration about school.
Students with busy schedules can quickly become overwhelmed because they are left with no free time to relax. As your child progresses from elementary school to high school, the amount and difficulty level of schoolwork increasesand students without good time management skills can experience even more stress.
What To Do If Your Teen Hates School: 15 Strategies That Work
Updated on May 18, 2022 By Daniel Wong
My teenager hates school, and I dont know what I should do!
Maybe this describes the situation youre in.
Does your teen say that he hates school?
Does he complain about his teachers and classmates, and about how useless school is?
Or maybe your teen complains that the people in school are fake, and that its hard to make friends?
If so, Im sure you feel concerned.
You want to help your teen, but whatever youve tried so far hasnt worked.
Dont worry.
Given that I work with students the majority of whom are teens for a living, I know how common it is for teens to dislike school.
Nonetheless, this is still an issue that must be addressed.
There are many powerful strategies you can employ to help the situation. In this article, Ill outline 15 of them.
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Ensure The Right Amount Of Sleep
In addition to improving physical and emotional health, sleep reduces student inattention, and aids student learning and memory skills. When kids don’t get enough sleep, they are at a greater risk of depression, suicidal thoughts and self-harm. So how much sleep is enough? The American Academy of Pediatrics advises children ages 6-12 get a minimum of 9-12 hours of sleep per night, with 8-10 hours recommended for teens.
Parents can help by encouraging children and teens to shut off screens at least an hour before bedtime and by limiting access to screens within their child’s bedroom.
They Feel Overwhelmed And Stressed
Waking up early. High-pressure extracurriculars. Exams, homework, and projects.
Teens today are more stressed than ever before. In fact, nearly one-third of teens report feeling overwhelmed, a figure on par with adult stress levels.
These statistics are a cause for concern.
As American Psychological Association CEO Norman B. Anderson, PhD says:
It is alarming that the teen stress experience is so similar to that of adults. It is even more concerning that they seem to underestimate the potential impact that stress has on their physical and mental health.
Help your teenager to manage stress effectively, and you might find that you no longer say that my teenager hates school.
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Dont Try To Do Everything At Once
If youre worried about keeping up, it can help to make a schedule of what work you need to do and when. You could set a specific time each day that youll do work, and include time for breaks and things to look forward to.
If you need help with this, you could ask your parent or carer if you can do it together.
When To Call A Healthcare Provider
Some teens are unable to verbalize why they are stressed or recognize that they need help. Instead, you will need to watch for changes in their behavior in order to determine if they need assistance beyond what you can provide.
Generally, if symptoms last two weeks or longer that could be a sign that your teen needs professional assistance or has an underlying mental health issue. Talk to a healthcare provider about your concerns. They can offer a treatment plan and refer you to a mental health professional.
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Rethink How Youre Managing Your Time
Do you sometimes feel like youre drowning in work, whether its from your employer or your instructor? Having a hard time balancing your kids schedule with yours? If youre not using a planner or calendar yet, you should be. When you have a bunch of things to remember every day, tools like these can help. It might seem weird to spend precious time on finding the best way to organize and manage your day, but in the end itll save you time, and help reduce your stress.
You can always go old school and use a notebook planner, but some people like to use Google Calendar or task management software like Todoist. These tools send you notifications and reminders when something is due. They also sync your computer and phone, so you can access your to-do list anytime, anywhere.
They Feel That School Is Just About Getting Good Grades
Does your teen feel pressured to achieve outstanding grades?
Most students do. Yet academic success is about so much more than report cards and grades.
Its important to show your teen that its not the outcome but the process that matters most.
Sure, it feels good to get excellent grades. But whats more important are the valuable life skills your child gains along the way, e.g. critical thinking, organisation, planning, self-management.
If your teens feel the only purpose of school is to memorise facts and equations, theyll struggle to find joy in the learning process.
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Check Out Meditative Activities
While some people feel that they get a lot from formal meditation practices, not everyone is interested in or enjoys pursuing that kind of practice. However, there are many activities that have a meditative quality that can help to ease your mind.
Coloring has become particularly popular as a meditative stress-relief activity. Art supply stores and bookstores now stock plenty of coloring books oriented toward teens and adults, which are far more detailed and interesting than those you might have used as a child.
Other forms of art and craft, from drawing to cross-stitch embroidery to woodworking to playing a musical instrument, can have similar effects. You dont have to be an immensely talented artist to benefit, both in terms of meditative concentration and in terms of simply doing something you enjoy and expressing yourself.
Many other activities can have a meditative quality. Some people find that spending time in nature fills this need. Others find a sense of peace in everything from writing to gardening to religious observations. The range of possibilities is broad, and ultimately, only you can say what feels right for you.
Reach Out To An Advisor
If the stress is just too much, your school should have someone on hand who specializes in helping students be successful. Carrington College offers students and their family members access to a Student Assistance Program called ASPIRE. Its a confidential service to help students with personal or school-related problems. No matter what, if things get to be too much you should reach out for help.
Juggling school and work is bound to be challenging, but with the right tools, you can set yourself up for success!
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What If I Feel Overwhelmed By Stress
Practicing better stress management is a good idea for everyone, but its easy to neglect this form of self-care until it reaches a point where youre overwhelmed. If the negative effects of your stress level are seriously impacting your life, and youre not sure where to start in addressing the problem, there are a few things that you can try that may help.
One strategy is to drop one of your existing activities, leaving you with more time and more flexibility in balancing your other obligations. As weve covered previously in our blog post Managing Extracurriculars: A Guide to Strategic Quitting, its better for you be involved in fewer activities in higher-quality ways than to spread yourself too thin and burden yourself with an excessive amount of stress.
Talking to people you trust can also help. Your friends are likely going through similar issues, and will be able to relate. Your parents, who know you well, may have advice thats particularly targeted to your needs. Your guidance counselor is trained to assist high school students with issues like these and can help you access resources at your school and in your community.
Determine If Theres Something More Serious Going On
If your teen says that she hates school, it may be a sign of something more serious, e.g. depression, panic disorder, anxiety disorders.
Here are some symptoms to look out for:
- Feeling tired most of the time
- Poor concentration
If your teen is exhibiting several of these symptoms, seek help right away.
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When Can Stress Be Harmful
Stress or adversity that is too intense, serious, long-lasting, or sudden can overwhelm a childs ability to cope. Stress can be harmful when kids dont have a break from stress, or when they lack the support or the coping skills they need. Over time, too much stress can affect kids mental and physical health.
As a parent you cant prevent your children from feeling stress. But you can help kids and teens cope. You can:
- Help them use positive stress to go for goals, adapt to changes, face challenges, and gain confidence.
- Give extra support and stability when they go through stressful life events.
- Protect them from the harmful effects of too much stress, such as chronic stress and traumatic stress.
How Do I Avoid Stress
You may be surprised to hear it, but you can control much of the pressure in your life! Often, we create work-related stress for ourselves through bad planning or by setting unrealistic expectations.
Its easier said than done, but having some basic techniques at your disposal can help you avoid many of the stressful situations that a lot of people experience:
- Dont leave things to the last minute.
- Dont say “yes” whenever youre asked to take on a new piece of work.
- Take steps to motivate yourself and avoid procrastination.
- Learn to plan ahead and prioritise.
This last point is perhaps the most important of all. If you have two weeks to revise for an exam, and try to learn the whole syllabus, youll go into the exam hall feeling stressed and worn out. Far better to use your time to learn the most important content thoroughly.
And of course, an even better example of good planning would be to start your revision earlier and make sure you do have time to cover everything!
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Supporting Young People With School Stress
- Work & study
- supporting young people with school stress
Stress is a normal part of life and can help young people feel more alert, increase their concentration, provide more energy when needed and enhance their sensory experience. All of this can be motivating for example, when they are studying for an exam.
There are many physical experiences of stress that are different for all of us. These may include increased sweating, dilated pupils, increased respiration and having an unsettled stomach. A degree of these physical experiences is normal and OK.
When we experience too much stress it can feel overwhelming. If a young person is finding they cant concentrate, they are sleeping too much or too little, or are feeling overwhelmed, it can be a sign that the level of stress they are experiencing is becoming problematic. Its at this point that young people can benefit from support from their parents, teachers or a health professional.
Talk To Someone About It
If you are feeling anxious about going back to school it is important to speak to someone about it. Whether your fears are about classes, teachers or your classmates, talking to someone can help to give you perspective on the situation and find a solution where possible. If you are worried about bullying, make an appointment with the school counsellor or a teacher you trust before term starts so they can be aware of the issue and help to support you during the year.
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Create An Organized Workspace So You Can Reduce Your School Stress
If you feel like you are always running low on time and trying to get things done in the windows available, you wont want to continually waste spare time digging around for the things you need.
This includes electronic files as well do you have hundreds of papers and projects saved to your desktop, waiting to be organized in a folder and back-up drive? Its okay this happens to everyone.
It might not seem like a priority at the time, but it will save you from taking an hour of your precious time down the road if you take two minutes to create a hard drive or Google Drive folder and drag over your work once its complete.
It feels good to stay on top of your organizing. Knowing that everything is there should you need to quickly reference something in the future. Its better than digging through stacks of paper or a computer desktop with icons scattered everywhere.
To the best of your ability, keep your workspace and surrounding environment neat and tidy. Too much visual noise can make your mind feel scattered and distract you from the task at hand, which might further set you back and leave you feeling more stressed than when you started.
What Is Life Event Stress
Difficult Life Events
Many kids and teens face difficult life events or adversity. Some get sick or need a hospital stay. Some have parents who split up. Some face the death of a loved one, move to a new neighborhood, or start a new school. Any of these life events can cause stress.
When kids face difficult life events, they might feel stress on and off for a few days or weeks as they adjust.
What parents can do: Parents can provide extra support and stability. Listen and talk with your child. Help them feel safe and loved. If possible, let them know what to expect. Talk over what will happen, what they can do to cope, and how youll help. Give comfort and show caring. Set up simple routines to help them feel settled.
Good Life Events
Even life events that we think of as good can be stressful. A big birthday, the first day of a school year, graduation, holidays, or travel can prompt kids and teens to feel stress.
What parents can do: Parents can help kids and teens prepare for whats ahead. Talk them through the situation, focusing on the positive parts. Give kids a say in the plans when possible. Listen to what they think and how they feel. If they feel stressed, let them know its OK and they can cope. Youll be there for them as needed.
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